Devil Year

I picked up my first deck of Tarot cards when I was a teenager. I wasn’t even Pagan yet. I distinctly remember asking my mother if I could have a deck, and her replying, “You can, as long as you don’t believe in them.”

Well, I’ve always been kind of a rebel. Sorry, Mom.

Truth be told, I don’t believe in the cards, really. I’m not a predictive reader. I don’t think the cards give me any insight into the future, because I don’t believe that the future is set in stone – or that time is even linear. And the cards are just uniformly cut pieces of cardboard with pretty pictures on them. But what I do believe is that we already have access to all the answers we need – it’s just that sometimes we need translators to help us figure out that information. That’s what the cards are for me — visual translators.

What’s cool about this particular set of translators is that they contain a few very specific coded systems, and at least one of those systems works incredibly well for me — the numbers. There are 78 cards in the deck broken out into 22 major arcana (or trump cards) and 56 minor arcana (the regular suits). Every one of them is associated with a number, and the relationships between those numbers in a reading can often give me more information than the pictures themselves.

Another aspect of Tarot-based numerology that I find pretty cool is the idea of Life Cards and Year Cards. Just like you might be a Cancer or a Sagittarius, you also get (at least one) major arcana archetype that walks with you throughout your lifetime. You can figure it out by adding up your birthdate (month, day, year you were born.)

You can do the same process with your most recent birthday and see what archetype is influencing your year — also known as your Year Card. And herein lies the point of this post. Today is my birthday — a capital “B” Birthday in a couple of different ways: First, I turned 40. Second, I am starting my first ever “15” year — which in the Tarot is The Devil.

Here’s the Crowley-Harris Thoth Deck version, which I prefer:

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I have never had a Devil year. I have never known anyone who has. (Or if they have, they haven’t told me about it.) Mathematically, it hasn’t been possible for people in my generation to have a Devil Year – so this is my first one. When I do readings for clients, I can generally give a “here’s what my year was like” synopsis for most of the archetypes. But the Devil? No clue. I know what I think this year might be about – but I really have very little idea what to expect. So I thought it would make a decent blog post series. I’ll take a look at the events, thoughts, feelings, etc., of my year and record them here to see how this year shapes up for me. (Plus, how cool is the tag “Devil Year?”, amirite?)

So here’s what I think the year will be about … and we’ll see if I’m right when I turn 41:

I think this will be a year about contracts — exploring contracts I’ve made that no longer serve me, and entering into new ones with fresh and discerning eyes. I think this will be a year about secrets — uncovering some of the ones that I have hidden from myself and revealing ones that keep me from being more free and open in the world. I think this will be a year about desire — sexual, creative, life-affirming desire — and likely identifying those desires I already embrace and those I sabotage and keep tamped down. I already know that this year is going to hold a great deal of change for me — and I think that this year will be about how I embrace that change. Do I do it with joy or resistance? Passion or begrudging acceptance?

This could be a big year. And I am curious to see what it was really about when I sit down to write 365 days from now.

 

 

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Guest post by Amoret from Siren Afire and Bone and Briar

Recently, my friend Amoret asked me to write a guest post for her blog, Siren Afire – a space that offers regular exploration into personal and spiritual growth. I have a great deal of respect for Amoret and her work, and I couldn’t resist asking her to do the same for my blog. Lucky me, she agreed.

I had so much fun with this process that I would love to do it again. Drop me a note if you would like to exchange blog posts. I am particularly interested in different takes on finding your passion, risk-taking, and the practice of cultivating delight — but if you’ve got a good pitch for something you feel would fit, let’s talk!

But for now and without further ado, let me introduce you to the lovely Amoret and her take on listening to and answering the call to passion.

* * * * * *

I Heard, I Heard, I Heard It Clear: Soul, Passion and Purpose
By Amoret

It’s not the dazzling voice that makes a singer. Or clever stories that make a writer. And it’s not piles of money that make a tycoon. 

It’s having a dream and wanting to live it so greatly that one would rather move with it and “fail” than succeed in another realm.

~Mike Dooley, Notes from the Universe

I cannot say I did not hear
That sound so hauntin’ hollow
I heard, I heard, I heard it clear
I was afraid to follow.

~Shel Silverstein, The One Who Stayed

I have a friend who is a talented actress. She is burning out, auditioning for role after role, not getting cast, watching parts slip past her fingers. Over the few years I have known her, she has stopped talking about her passion for acting. Instead, she talks of being tired of the constant auditions and the low pay of her day job, and of finding a more mainstream career. She wonders if focusing on an acting career was a mistake.  More and more, she vacillates between commitment to her current path and giving up the work that has been her dream for many years.

Is acting, her passion? She is no longer sure.

This is a pretty common state of affairs for human beings, at least in my experience. I think we are often wandering around, asking our souls to speak, not knowing how to translate what we hear, or playing telephone with the messages we get.

For me, hearing the voice of my soul and recognizing my passion has been a long process. In 2003, doing work at Diana’s Grove, I recognized that my soul lit up when I was priestessing, creating rituals and working with others in intentional community. The desire to devote my life to spiritual pursuits was intense and joyous, and I knew that I was being called to my purpose.

But soon after, the Voice of Reason spoke up. It reminded me that I had bills to pay and that I liked having a comfortable lifestyle– would I be financially stable if I followed this longing? I also had a spouse that wouldn’t take kindly to a full life overhaul – what would happen to that relationship if I followed my bliss? And goodness, what would people think of me if I dropped everything and lived a life they didn’t understand? (Personal observation: isn’t there always a seed of “What will they think of me?” in the Voice of Reason?)

Long story short: I heard the call, but I was afraid to follow…and I continued to work in “safe” jobs, and I ended my marriage, and I did spiritual work here and there…and I was haunted by the road not taken while living my safe and stagnant life.

Over the last year, the voice of my soul has become more and more insistent, and it is speaking with a clarity and wisdom that I cannot deny. This time, I am listening. This time, I am following. Stepping out into the unknown, I do know this: the soul does not interface with reason. Passion doesn’t need to be understood; it needs to be trusted.

I ask you this: What makes your growth inevitable? What do you do without thought of reward? What do you want more than success? What excites you when you envision it manifesting? What scares you when you envision it slipping through your fingers? What are you willing to humble yourself to? What do you need to awaken in the world?

I believe that most of us have heard the voice of our soul, and doubt it, reason with it, fear it or flat out ignore it. Hearing the call isn’t necessarily the hard part – it’s the following of that call that takes some “soul stamina,” in the words of Caroline Myss…and for good reason.

Your purpose will be bigger than you or your personal desires. It will demand that you grow to birth it, to hold it, to release it into the world. Passion moves through you, and is not yours, for you exist to bring it into being. It is joyful. It is ceaseless. The work your soul requires will be invigorating, for it will align with all you already bring to the world. It will feel exhilarating and frightening at the same time, but know this secret: the delight will outweigh the fear.

Here’s to hearing the call. Here’s to knowing our purpose.

Here’s to doing it afraid.

Amoret has been working in the Reclaiming and Feri witchcraft traditions since 2000. Her passions include the search for Truth and Desire, co-creation and manifestation, ecstatic ritual, and the power of good reading material. Amoret believes in full-on surrendering to transformation.