Rooted and Still Growing

Oh, this adjustment thing is still up. (Like it will ever end?)

Recently, (and I’d like to believe that this is a result of this conscious alignment work), some rather significant aspects of my life that have been out of whack are finally coming back into balance. And I’m here to tell you, the impact on my well-being is palpable. My life feels more expansive. I am finding that there is more room to breathe. For this, I am beyond grateful.

What was out of balance related to my integrity. I found myself negotiating things I have always considered non-negotiable. It has been such a gift and a blessing to finally find my feet again, and stand more firmly in my values. It feels like, for lack of a better word … home.

But, like anything, there is a shadow side to all of this. I have wanted resolution in these realms for so long, thinking that there would be so much more ease in my life once I had achieved them. Yeah… wrong. Although I have significant sense of relief and expanded opportunity, finding balance in these aspects of my life is serving to highlight the other aspects of my life that need to be brought into alignment.

I still have a job that doesn’t reflect my values, interests, or needs beyond the financial. I still struggle with feeling comfortable in my home, despite my efforts to invoke beauty. There are other more intimate and personal places that need examination and adjustment as well. True balance is fleeting and damn it, it’s hard work. But that just makes it that more valuable a process.

I just need to keep reminding myself that it is such a gift to be able to face the challenges before me having found balance in some truly integral areas of my life. If I can maintain healthy roots, then I can continue to grow. “Maintain” is the key word there. I don’t believe for one second that I have done all the work I need to do in those realms and now I can rest on my laurels. But it’s certainly nice to have a much healthier place to start than I did even a few months ago.

The work begins again. (And again. And again. And…)

Rooted in my values, I align.
Rooted in my boundaries, I align.
Rooted in my integrity, I align.

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Adjusting, Calibrating, Balancing

I was honored to be able to write a guest post for my friend and colleague Amoret of Siren Afire and Bone and Briar a short while ago. (We traded posts – the excellent one she wrote for my blog on finding passion is here.) The topic she gave me was “what to do when the Work no longer works.” It turned in to an exploration of balance and finding the point where I am in alignment, rare though it may be.

Ever since I sent it off to her, I have been seeing all sorts of examples and approaches to the same concept, just from different perspectives. A dear friend of mine who has sat through a number of my classes reminded me of my “Yellow Jeep Theory” — which states that if you own a yellow Jeep, you tend to notice tons of yellow Jeeps on the road. There aren’t necessarily more yellow Jeeps than there were before, you just have more of a tendency to notice them, because yellow Jeeps are part of your daily experience. So stories about balance and adjustment aren’t necessarily more prevalent, I’m just noticing them more. No complaints here.

One lovely example that came across my reader this morning: sexuality educator Charlie Glickman offers an excellent example of this idea of “calibration” in intimate relationships in his latest post. I thought it was excellent (his posts usually are), and applies many of the same principles.

Since it’s up, I am trying to weave more conscious balance-finding activities into my day. I have started an “apartment beautification” practice, where the first thing I do when I get home from work is find some way to beautify my living space. That might mean vacuuming or washing dishes, and some days – dusting one shelf is all I have in me. But other days, it could mean adding a new houseplant or building a stand for new kitchen appliances. My ability to feel comfortable and safe in my home is currently out of whack, so this is helping bring things into balance.

I am also trying to write more, to reach out to friends more, to connect with my family more, to send out more resumes… anything to adjust my life so I can bring it back into alignment. I am consciously trying to identify where I am sending my energy these days — what’s getting my power and attention? Where am I adding weight to the scales? Where can I lighten my load a bit?

What about you? What does balance look like to you? What does it feel like? How do you bring yourself back to center? What are your strategies for alignment? I am always curious to hear what others are doing for themselves, and how practice brings us back to wholeness.